Most people learn their parenting skills from what they learned from their parents raising them as children, which they learned from their parents passed down through generations.
When parenting causes a breakdown of normal or beneficial relationships in the family, we call that being dysfunctional.
Being a dysfunctional parent will create dysfunctional children who grow up to be dysfunctional in their relationship with others and as a parent because they do not know what is normal or beneficial in their relationship with others.
To learn what good parenting you will find in the beginning of Genesis when God parented his created son, Adam.
Genesis 2: 7 the Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being. 8 Now the Lord God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he put the man he had formed. 9 And the Lord God made all kinds of trees grow out of the ground-trees that were pleasing to the eye and good for food. In the middle of the garden were the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.
God provided a safe place for his son to live and provided for his needs. Good parenting is to provide a home where their children feel safe and know they will be provided and cared for because they are loved and not because it’s their job and responsibility to do it.
Genesis 2: 15 The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.
God teaches his son how to work and to care for what he is provided. Parents show their children the importance of honest work with the attitude as if working for the Lord to provide and to care for their needs and others so that they will grow up with the same attitude to care for themselves and others for the Lord.
Genesis 2: 16 And the Lord God commanded the man, "You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; 17 but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die."
God instructed and warned his son to keep him safe from harm. Parents teach their children godly values which they example to keep themselves and their children from harm and from the storms in life.
Jesus said to put his teaching in to practice which parent must do and teach their children so that they have a firm foundation in Jesus and stand firm in any storms that comes along.
Genesis 2: 18 The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." 19 Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was found.
God saw that it was not good for his son to be alone because of the way he created him with flesh which his Spirit could not provide. Our spirit does not feel alone when we are loved by the presence of God’s Spirit in us, but our flesh feels alone when it is not comforted by the love of their parents as children. When a child grows up without being loved by parents, they become dysfunctional by creating their own ways to overcome their loneliness.
Loneliness is real in a child’s life, and it must be cared for by their parents reassuring them with words of love, by their comforting them with their touch even as they get older to assure them, they are loved.
This is important to do because children whose loneliness were never comforted when they reach sexual puberty their loneliness increases, and they think by satisfying their sexual need it will overcome all their loneliness. This is when love becomes dysfunctional because their loneliness was never comforted as child.
God never raised Adam as a baby but as an adult male which he provided for Adam’s sexual loneliness by providing him with a wife.
Genesis 2: 21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. 23The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman, ' for she was taken out of man." 24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. 25The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.
God created the marital union as the means for the husband and wife to be one in flesh and in spirit so they do not feel alone, and their marriage is an example for their children to learn what a loving marriage is and gives them the security that their parents will never separate.
So, we should always look to God’s word to teaches us how to be good parents.
Be safe in Jesus,
Ps. Glenn